


Take Me to Church

by Anna_banana



Category: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF
Genre: Churches & Cathedrals, M/M, One Shot, Religion, Slash, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 21:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_banana/pseuds/Anna_banana
Summary: Bobby reflects on his own life, his relationship with Karamo and their differences when considering their religion and the Church.Based on the lyrics of Take Me to Church by Hozier.





	Take Me to Church

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Hozier’s Take Me to Church and S2ep1 God Bless Gay. You don’t need to have seen that to read however :)

_“My lover's got humour, He's the giggle at a funeral”_

Not a lot of people realise this but Karamo is the funny one of the group. Johnny is eccentric and Anthony is clever, Tan is goofy sometimes but those things are different. If you want to hear a joke that is closely followed by Bobby’s loud laughter every time then you have to go to Karamo. Then again, maybe Bobby is a bit biased.

_“Knows everybody's disapproval  
I should've worshipped him sooner”_

There’s something about Karamo that always makes him hesitate. For some reason there’s just something that makes Bobby hold back in getting to know him as well as the others. Himself and Antoni’s more reserved natures mean that they bond quickly. Tan and Jonathan just invite themselves into his life. The fifth member of their group, it’s different. Karamo is as open as he is closed. The initial pushes result in him pulling away. He’s afraid that if he reveals any piece of himself the longing and attraction he feels will be revealed to the whole world. Karamo would know all his feelings effortlessly. The other man might be open but not enough to gage a reaction on that. 

_“If the Heavens ever did speak, He is the last true mouthpiece”_

There’s a light emitted from Karamo that’s different to anyone else Bobby has ever met. Tan is a bright light, Antoni a glowing ember, Jonathan honest to god glistens sometimes. Bobby feels dull and he gets blinded by the brightest light of all. If anything could convince him of the pearly gates it’s the confidence in which Karamo speaks of them. Karamo may not sing but his voice is the choir, calling the deserving upward. 

_“Every Sunday's getting more bleak  
A fresh poison each week,”_

Bobby remembers church, remembers what such a deep burning hate feels like. He still lives in the south and hate is constant that hasn’t changed. Individuals are like skimming stones, the church is the rocks that are embedded deep down in the bottom of the ocean. Bobby would sit in the church as a teenager and imagine getting just one kiss. One kiss from a man who is a new born Judas. Lips of poison to end it all. Instead he’s left drowning. The church’s holy water is the only poison that he ever knows. 

_“'We were born sick, ' you heard them say it”_

If Bobby is sick then he wonders why there isn’t a cure, if he’s sick then why isn’t this illness terminal. He wonders that if what he feels is wrong then why would God do this to him. All he knows is that it’s not a mistake. For better or for worse. Whatever that may mean for him.

_“My church offers no absolutes  
She tells me 'worship in the bedroom'”_

The only faith to be found now is when he’s with Karamo. Bobby sits idle as Karamo kneels by the side of the bed praying. As he blows Karamo he finds himself curious as to whether or not God is watching this also. At least he’ll be pleased at who is getting the most pleasure right now, if absolutely nothing else.

_“The only heaven I'll be sent to  
Is when I'm alone with you”_

He hopes that much of what he was taught as a boy is real. For Karamo’s sake rather than his own. He hopes that his boyfriend finds the heaven that he deserves. Bobby knows he himself would go to hell, Church may be revoked by him but it would be worth it he decides effortlessly. Heaven is here and now, what more could he need? 

_“I was born sick, but I love it”_

Bobby thinks of his hometown. Somewhere he would happily never go back to. There he’s deformed, ill, a freak, wrong. If he was inclined to praying now, he would pray that they find no cure. 

_“Take me to church, I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies”_

When they stand outside the church in fucking no joke, Gay of all places it’s a surreal experience. The others walk in laughing and joking and he stands outside, a martyr for the experience. Karamo makes some joke about him being a gay who thinks he’ll burn if he walks in. Bobby looks down at his feet half expectant despite making no moves to enter. In the car back Jonathan jokes about their future Church wedding. That realisation hits him hard and he sits lurching at the mere thought of it. Bobby loves Karamo more than life itself but can’t think of a worse death than being engulfed in flame. 

_“I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”_

He goes to small towns now, half expecting to be lynched. Tan and Jonathan might always jokingly call him a straight but it doesn’t seem like that to him. Bobby feels as though there’s a massive arrow pointing down at him shouting out ‘queer’ to the world. He’s been beat up a few times in hate bashing’s. Musing whether it’s knifes next or a sudden jump to guns probably isn’t the sanest way to spend ones time. 

_“Offer me that deathless death  
Good God, let me give you my life”_

Bobby hopes more than anything he was right to revoke God. A death that ends everything sounds like the best way to go. There’s a chain around Karamo’s neck however and he’s willing to make any sacrifice for that man. An eye for an eye is a life for a life. 

_“My lover's the sunlight”_

Jonathan tries to explain his confusing sun moon analogy to Bobby but he doesn’t take any of it in. The others are listening rapt. He is day and I am night is Bobby’s only thought on the matter. He has no idea if it actually fits the analogy or not but it makes perfect sense to himself anyway. 

_“That's a fine looking high horse”_

Bobby feels trapped, sat on the ground between two gigantic high horses. One says hate, you shall not enter. The other says I feel the love of God surrounding me. Contrasting and contradicting passages, countless examples that can be recited effortlessly by those on both religious horses. A battle swirls in Bobby’s mind and by this point he’s more than happy to have the ground swallow him up deciding his fate.

_“We've a lot of starving faithful”_

Bobby grew up well, he was well fed, educated, looked after. Still he lay in his childhood bed starving every night. Love sustains all of us. Where it is lacking you can’t help but wake up in the middle of the night, your middle gaping. Sometimes someone will try and feed you. When you have starved for so long even simple acceptance makes you feel nauseous. 

_“There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin”_

It is still a mystery to Bobby how something that feels so perfect could ever be sinful. There is nothing more right to him than just simply sitting with Karamo, hands clasped. It’s always the most innocent of actions that are both his biggest sin and greatest joy. Karamo gets to thank God for these moments. 

_“Only then I am human, Only then I am clean, Amen, Amen, Amen”_

It’s the quiet gentle times that shift Bobby’s thoughts. The strength of their love transcends all during these moments. While his faith may never come back he can watch Karamo pray and believe that he is no longer a sinner. He is only a human, just like any other man.

**Author's Note:**

> First Queer eye and song lyric fic. Hope you all enjoyed :D Kudos/ Comments always appreciated


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